In the form of “Wakhalyapi” by Layli Long Soldier

1. as in balance between opposing forces. as in fifteen pounds bearing down on each square inch of skin. as in breathing. as in bundling up before stepping outside. as in body shivering to generate warmth. as in talking to yourself some might say excessively. as in you’ve got to talk to somebody. as in self pity’s not gonna make you friends. as in sooner or later your fingertips will go numb. as in unrelenting atmospheric pressure. as in you must not give in!

2. as in a chemistry reaction going nowhere. as in fluid phase changes. as in nighttime snowflakes sinking softly onto the branches of an ash tree. as in waking up in the morning and it’s raining. as in products morphing back into reactants. as in being in a good mood and biting your lip to keep from crying.

3. as in the ability to stay upright on two feet. as in trying not to get left behind. as in moving with above-average velocity to conserve precious time. as in stretching your brain around thermodynamics and logarithms. as in willing it to understand. as in twelve-hour school days and not enough sleep.

4. as in a market where supply and demand are matched. as in not here, not now. not as in abundant zoom classes that nobody wants. not as in music lessons in-person last month but not this month. not as in too few covid tests, too many people. not as in no supply even if we really really want it. not as in wondering what’s going to get canceled next.

5. as in a calm state of mind despite it all. as in an impossible feat! as in walking with grace. as in holding your head high. as in finding the courage to take time. as in daring to go outside.